Be Aware. Never assume.
Not really my style to write as we all know...photoboards and giving visuals are ma thing we all know this but i feel this is important and something everyone needs to read.
My mother gave me some incredibly wise words tonight and I want everyone to take them on board - keeping in mind this woman is a very, VERY level headed person and has been through a lot both mentally and physically, more pain and suffering than I could ever imagine and will and has outright told me before if I'm in the wrong and isn't scared to tell me how it is, She's pretty incredible.
PLEASE KEEP IN MIND when you are sending me feedback i respect this is my idea to put this up but I am just relaying some amazing words my mother gave to me tonight as i was feeling very emotional about a situation and i just wanted to pass it on.
'If you need to have a confrontation or have something to tell someone always ask are you ok, because you do not know what is going on in their own life, it's easy for someone to judge, misconstrued and attack you when they have just heard one side of the story. It's hard when people are in relationships because they will instantly defend there significant other as they are scared of losing them. They don't want to fight so they play this nasty blame game, just like a flick of a switch they instantly will hurt and upset another by blaming and judging without knowing the full story to make themselves feel better, without realising that, that this other person could be on the brink of a meltdown.
Humans unfortunately don't realise and everyone is constantly after validation whether they want to admit it or not and some people like to gain this validation by playing this said blame and judging game. Words are so incredibly powerful and people just do not realise that they can really hurt another.
These people or person might be feeling uncomfortable, sad, angry, depressed and you just do not know it, they might be suffering from depression, anxiety, a break up, financial problems, or a general personal situation which you do not know about and you going in guns blazing might just tip them over the edge to do something that could hurt them for the rest of there life.
People always put on a tough skin to make others happy and just get on and deal with it, it's easier than dealing with the pain or the argument that could come from it. This is why you should always be aware and never assume. Just ask are you having a good day, are you ok, and then proceed it's three simple words that could change an entire mood of a conversation. People do not realise that sometimes they've put another in an uncomfortable situation and just expected them to be ok but its ok for themselves to be upset not even realising what this other person is going through, no matter how much this person screams out for the help they just expect them to be ok. They are living in their own world to not even realise that this person is probably hurting a lot more than they think.
Get there point of view and allow them to speak instead of just telling them how it is because you never know you could suddenly lose that person without even realising because of the words you said and how would you feel going through life knowing you just lost someone so important to you because you never asked them are you ok? or you just blamed an entire situation on them without getting there point of view first. I am in absolute shock horror that someone has told you the words of 'this shouldn't affect you anymore' and 'you need to get over it because this should affect you anymore', that is not an excuse. Humans have feelings and emotions and as humans we all need to talk. As everyone says there is two sides to every story, people are allowed to feel the way they feel and 99% of the population in this world seems to forget that.
Be old fashioned pick up that phone and talk to them messaging these days is so hard because people misconstrued everything. If a person has time to message you something they will have time to to pick up there phone and talk it out with you, if they really care they will stop what they are doing and talk to you. I am not defending nor am I on anyone's side I am just telling you be aware and always think about others, this life is too short to have unnecessary drama in it.'
Mum's always have the best advice...especially after a glass of wine 🍷